Whiskey Words & a Shovel III by R.h Sin (Notes)

in the dark.

I’m hiding behind this smile and lately chaos has found its way into my heart there’s a shade of gray that covers my day to day and fills me with the type of sadness difficult to define with words

the darkness hovers over me like vultures awaiting supper ever so patiently as life takes a toll on my soul nearly out of my mind and out of control searching for myself in mirrors yet all I see is a face that I don’t know

who am I and if I were to lose this fight where in the hell would I go

affirmation.

you are good enough you are worthy you are strong you are beautiful it’s not your fault good things are coming you are so important you can’t give up now you just need to let him go you have to stop beating yourself up forgive yourself for staying longer than you should have you can’t blame yourself yes, this is a sign yes, I’m talking to you

life-aches.

the plan was to get better but there are demons at every level 

the moment you feel like you’ve won you then realize that the more you advance the more you have to lose and nothing ever gets easier you just learn better ways to navigate a life that seemingly becomes tougher

last year I had nothing and the emptiness was expected this year I have more but the emptiness continues to haunt me

life is a complex thing that can’t be solved with things and maybe I’m beginning to realize the unimportance of material items

maybe the toughness of it all is making me stronger

found.

in silence, we discover ourselves

between the cracks.

she has twisted, dark, and painful stories crammed between the cracks in her heart scattered across the surface of her own soul stay with her and listen she’s worth it she’s always been worth it

there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who continues to fight despite the chaos and madness that surrounds her

the realization.

slowly it begins you never really see it coming and before you know it everything you thought was real turns out to be some majestic lie some great big lie that you believed because within that lie lived all the things you wanted to hear all the fucking things you needed to be told to you by the lips of someone who never really cared for you in the first place your heart confused as your mind then takes on the task of going to war with the emotions you cultivated based on the words of someone who never meant the things they said

separation.

broken down by solitude separated by the silence

day to day.

one day it won’t hurt as much as it does now sometime in the near future day to day it’ll get easier the nights won’t feel so lonely the mornings won’t be so damn difficult your heart may ache now but there’s power in pain and you’re just getting stronger

understand.

you must understand this a man will never appreciate your love until he begins to value his own

he will never love you entirely until he begins to love himself

break us.

sometimes we give them too much credit sometimes we overexaggerate their power sometimes they don’t really break you maybe you simply break yourself by trying to hold on to them

false friendship.

friendship is a lost art the very word has lost its true meaning two people wasting each other’s  energy disguising hatred  with love masking deceit with fun and then it crumbles time begins to test it and it fails

departed.

when silence is the only answer it’s over

most hurtful.

I think what hurts the most is knowing the moments of tomorrow may never come

and so in the present you find yourself making time for someone who can barely find the time for you

I think what hurts the most is preserving your energy for someone who would rather invest their energy into something other than the moments you’ve vacated just to make room for them

time is something we find ourselves taking for granted time is something we often think we have until there is no time left to spend

I think what hurts the most is the time we invest in people who refuse to invest that time back

only after.

you were never as important to them as you thought and that’s what hurts that’s what makes you shut down and shut others out 

cultivate.

if what you love causes you pain let it go and create your own peace

you have a choice . . . choose yourself

some change.

and you’re so used to being mistreated that anything opposite of what you’re used to scares you even if it’s what you deserve

cloaked.

she buried her own sadness under the weight of her smile she buried most of her pain in a box cloaked by her silence and she’s reading this now . . .

fed up.

more and more you begin to value all of what you have to offer you become less likely to share yourself with those who don’t deserve your time your tolerance for bullshit is now at an all-time low

therapy by the books.

deep halls with books on both ends I’ve buried so much of what I felt into the pages of my favorite book

sadness slowly fading with each chapter I read my screams silenced by words that resonate with my soul

a resting place for the words of authors who seem to understand me more than my own family and friends

the library is therapy for those with minds like mine

vitae.

made wiser with heartache made stronger by pain

absence and peace II.

the chaos left with you providing a space for peace . . .

it all begins the same different people in similar situations dealing with a pain that is identical

strangers attempting to survive the same type of incidents

emotional anguish and stress psychological pain the aches of a heart riddled with cracks weighed down by betrayal 

there’s a type of emptiness that fills the soul with the departure of anyone you thought you loved

weird isn’t it that you can be filled with the right type of emptiness

the type of emptiness that leaves a space or opportunity for something good to take up residence

all in all some of what you lose gives you a chance to gain something better

in order to discover peace absence is needed

want, desire, lust.

being wanted is not enough desire is mostly bullshit lust is subpar and oftentimes giving in means giving up the best parts of your existence to those who will later treat you as if you don’t exist

the same ones who want you may also intend to hurt you it’s never really apparent until the end

friends become enemies lovers start to feel like strangers and there’s nothing strange about it

it’s not enough to be wanted fuck desire, fuck temptation preserve yourself for those who deserve you

rebuilt.

the beauty in breaking is that when you rebuild you’ll be stronger than before

stale.

the mornings were no longer good and so we stopped greeting each other

silence became our language tension was our communication

between the lack of dialogue and the arguments when we did speak something broke we simply shattered

we were destined for the end left wondering why the fuck we even began in the first place

strange love.

I hope you find someone who falls in love with the strange that lives within you

a silent thought.

you’re always hurting me

and yet I’m always the one apologizing

under the veil.

the saddest souls seem the happiest I see your smile I hear your laughter and yet, I feel your pain

today then tomorrow.

choosing myself is the most obvious choice and yet it has become the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do going back and forth with my decision to leave so hard on myself based on that decision, my future unclear

it’s scary not knowing what tomorrow will look like but it’s terrifying knowing that I’ll waste another day trying to love the unlovable the very predictable the inconsiderate, you

the self-hate.

because that’s what it usually is and that’s how it’ll always be the way they treat you represents their own truth and mistreating others is symbolic of self-hatred with that being said I forgive you for not loving yourself enough to appreciate me

wasting time, making time.

the painful truth is that you’re constantly trying to spend your life with someone who won’t even give you a fucking moment of their day

you’ve been trying to create a future with someone who belongs to your past and you’ve been hurting yourself by doing so

lost out here.

and here you are a slave to your own sadness subjecting yourself to disrespect self-medicating with alcohol and sex

all based upon the mistreatment of someone who failed to love you putting yourself at risk every time you let them touch you

good book.

a good book is something you can reread over and over yet it never loses its intrigue that’s the type of love I want that’s the type of love I deserve

used to it.

you’re so used to being hurt that you don’t know how to allow real love in

you’re so used to the heartache that your heart anticipates being broke

you’re so damn used to the lies that even the truth appears to be unbelievable

the truth is you can’t keep a man who doesn’t deserve to keep you

beyond her surface.

compliment her thoughts value a woman’s mind see beyond your eyesight feel beneath the surface

the lie that is love.

most of what we know about love has been defined by a lifetime of mistrust and disappointment

most of what we know about love has been taught by individuals who only encouraged our pain

we paint the walls of our mind in white to hide the dirt and the cracks we suppress the pain of it all with good memories slightly exaggerated to create this picture too large for its frame we want love but we accept hate we invest energy into those who rarely make an effort

we display emotional anguish in the form of yelling toward someone who doesn’t even care to listen

most of what we know about love is a lie

◆ into the night.

▪ I’ve been smiling  in an attempt to avoid their concern while trying to learn to navigate through the chaos that plagues my life though genuine laughter is what I’ve been after I’ve been unable to find it and so I resort to a cheerfulness that isn’t real the type of joy I only wish to feel there is sadness all around us it follows and swallows us up us being the people like me dreading tomorrow and the sorrows that live within the minutes of every passing moment this has become my life the life of someone who in a room filled with others still feels lonely

◆ departure.

▪ departure. you were always the sadness that I had to let go of I lost you and gained a necessary peace

◆ freshman.

▪ freshman. college destroyed whatever innocence she had left between the nights she couldn’t remember and the things she wished to forget she’d forever be changed by the events that stripped away the peace from her soul

◆ girls like you I.

▪ girls like you I. the girls with the biggest smiles have the saddest stories

◆ hurt.

▪ hurt. she did everything he asked she gave him everything she had and he gave what she deserved to someone else

◆ a struggle of mine.

▪ a struggle of mine. it’s only human, you know sometimes we don’t see things for what they truly are we see things for what we want them to be and this has been my struggle lately when you want love you see it in everything even when it isn’t there

◆ consilium II.

▪ consilium II. if he doesn’t want a relationship don’t give him relationship benefits

◆ self-talk.

▪ self-talk. some of the most honest conversations I’ve ever had were in a room occupied by just me and my own voice

◆ truth in motion.

▪ truth in motion. ignore the excuses their actions are their truth

simple complications.

simple things will always be made to appear complicated by the people who are too lazy to make an effort

love is a simple gesture complicated only when directed toward someone too lazy to reciprocate it

remember this . . .

sadly lying to myself.

I lied I never loved you couldn’t trust you

you once helped me forget but now you’re just a reminder a lonely reminder of what happens when energy is misplaced and invested into the wrong person 

I was in search of love and you were just the lie I told myself to keep from feeling alone but there’s been this void in my heart and I’m no longer using you to fill it

core beliefs.

the belief that you are not good enough will force you to entertain things that are not worthy of your time the belief that you are not good enough will force you to remain in an environment that will destroy your ability to thrive in any relationship you attempt to create

the belief that you are not good enough will force you into situations that will cause you to compromise your standards

the belief that you are not good enough will keep you from receiving the type of love you deserve

torches.

burn bridges if you have to don’t be afraid of the flames

use the fire as warmth use the fire as a torch to light the path toward something better with someone better

pain is silent.

the worst type of pain is silent and it hides behind a smile upon the face of the strongest people

the heart, the lessons.

the heart has to break several times in order to find hands strong enough to hold it this is what life has taught me and it’s been one of the hardest lessons to learn

in order to find love you must navigate successfully through hate

a chance.

be patient be kind be understanding I am worth it

◆ lost love in solitude.

▪ lost love in solitude. I’m writing this  because it’s difficult to speak to you my words either go unheard or misinterpreted  I keep blaming myself for your inability to process the things I’ve expressed I keep hurting myself listening to your lies and pretending to be happy with a smile on my face and pain in my heart I’m writing this as my heart hardens and my soul screams there’s this eerie silence surrounding me  as I let these words out and I sit within these four walls I’m beginning to feel free I’m beginning to feel like me again in losing you I’ll discover me

◆ she, the journey.

▪ she, the journey. she hid so much of what lived  within her heart behind a smile that at times appeared to be failing she built her expectations on pillars of lies  that at first gave off  the appearance of truth laughter became a way of drowning out the silence that would sometimes remind her of the things she’d struggle to forget but even in her darkest moments she provided her own light she became whatever she needed to be in order to get closer to a love she deserved

◆ April 30th.

▪ I’m not listening speaking over you because you make me feel as if my only place is beneath you emotions bottled up until the glass breaks I spill my inner thoughts across the walls back and forth until  there’s nothing left

◆ reached the bottom.

▪ reached the bottom. I’ll be honest with you whatever I felt has faded into the air  or possibly it has sunk to the bottom of the sea drowning, always drowning until I lost the will to fight no longer able to see the surface or the purpose of continuing  to fight for us I’m done, it’s over, the end

◆ waiting for that text.

▪ the moon is out now as the darkness hides the sun and still nothing and now I feel like nothing someone feeling something for someone who feels nothing or not enough to be concerned with whether or not we communicate waiting for something that won’t happen losing sleep over someone  who sleeps peacefully and what hurts the most  is that tomorrow it’ll begin again this feeling is never ending this cycle is destructive

◆ be still.

▪ be still. sweetheart, remain still and be patient you’ll never have to chase someone who wants to stay you’ll never need to compete for the time of someone who thinks you’re important if they want you they’ll make an effort if they love you they’ll show you

◆ the loyal, the honest.

▪ the loyal, the honest. loyal souls know betrayal better than anyone the most honest souls have been victim to the worst lies and the prettiest of hearts have been through the ugliest shit all in the name of love

◆ good mourning.

▪ good mourning. wake up hurting uncertainty stressed depressed guarded unhappy unable to find peace unable to find joy unable to find yourself or your reflection in the mirror wake up feeling hurt you’re uncertain there’s stress within you depression now lives in your soul your guard is up as you naturally feel this need to protect yourself from something or someone, them you’ve lost your smile your peace of mind compromised and the joy of what you knew has left you you’ve been losing yourself  you can barely recognize your own eyes as you stare  into the mirror that’s not love you’re not in love and they don’t love you remember this

◆ falling loving fighting.

▪ falling loving fighting. falling for someone doesn’t mean they’ll catch you  loving someone doesn’t make them deserve you fighting for someone won’t make a difference if that individual doesn’t appreciate you don’t waste yourself on someone who obviously wants someone else

◆ she is you IV.

▪ she is you IV. and she was driven by all the things that caused her pain as what failed to weaken her flames became fuel

◆ growing pains.

▪ growing pains. I spent my early 20s searching for love without knowing what I was actually in search of feeling things unexplainable but never substantial an emotion that seemed to escape me whenever I thought my grip was tight enough to keep it but I didn’t I could never really love because as it turns out I didn’t even know how to love myself

◆ what occurs.

▪ what occurs. one of two things will occur when they’re gone you’ll either realize they were never there or the fact that they’re gone doesn’t even matter because some people are not a loss

◆ cleanse.

▪ cleanse. detach from what destroys you 

◆ self-punishing attitudes.

▪ self-punishing attitudes. you can’t keep punishing yourself for his inability  to live up to the promises he made to your heart it’s not your fault . . .

◆ wish, pray, or hope.

▪ wish, pray, or hope. I hope you find the strength to walk away from your past and run toward a  future where you’ll be treated like the amazing soul that you are I know life is short and our moment here is limited there’s not enough time to find all the things you want but I do hope that you reach all the things your heart deserves

◆ romanticizing abandonment.

▪ romanticizing abandonment. there is nothing romantic about someone who takes all that you give  them and walks away as if you meant nothing only to return to you to confess their love after  they’ve lost you listen and understand that you deserve someone who enters your life and stays no matter how tough life gets

◆ love and its many ways to die.

▪ love and its many ways to die. the death of many relationships lies in the hands of those who  would rather hold on to mobile devices than the hand of a lover

◆ October 25th 2015.

▪ October 25th 2015. there’s a certain level of peace that comes with loving the right person you feel  safe and secure in their presence because you know that in a world filled with uncertainty you can always count on that certain someone to just be there

▪ nothing is perfect

people aren’t perfect but the fact that you try you always make an effort and continue to go out of your way to show me love is simply proof that you are perfect for me be with someone who shows  you that you deserve better than what you’ve had

◆ turned off.

▪ turned off. I can love you with my entire heart yet walk away and ignore your entire existence if you betray me in a way I deem unacceptable  that’s what happens when you love yourself more than the bullshit and lies others attempt to feed you after being hurt enough your emotions become something like a light switch and once I’m turned off, that’s it

◆ consilium III.

▪ consilium III. it’s simple you have to stop wasting your loyalty on someone who neglects you

◆ when love is hate.

▪ when love is hate. a man who waits until he destroys your heart  to tell you how much you mean to him doesn’t deserve you a man who treats you as if he hates you only to express how much he loves you is no longer worthy of your emotional energy

◆ all ways.

▪ all ways. give your heart to a man who loves you always  in all ways

◆ midnight bled into morning.

▪ midnight bled into morning. the more you ignore me the more detached I feel silence fills the  room as my heart becomes empty  and the sensation of love begins to leave my body being constantly told how good I am  and yet feeling as if I’m not good enough taken for granted,  mistreated, and/or neglected takes a toll on the human psyche it’s draining for the soul and I don’t have much left I get quiet because I’m tired I say nothing because my words are too difficult for you to comprehend one day I won’t be here  and you’ll no longer have my  feelings to disregard

one night you’ll sleep without me  and the nightmare of my absence  will keep you up all night one morning you’ll wake up alone  and realize that you lost an entire future  when I walked away

◆ icebox.

▪ icebox. my heart made cold by your icy insults emotion no longer present and so I give you my absence

◆ what are we?

▪ what are we? death to the idea of being loyal to someone who refuses to define the status of the relationship death to the idea of giving your all to someone who refuses to provide you with what you deserve

◆ observations.

▪ observations. we entertain chaos  in relationships because we love that feeling of resolving issues making up and being able to successfully get back to a place of peace and sometimes while arguing, fighting each other we’re essentially fighting for each other

◆ 322 2016.

▪ 322 2016. my heart belongs to you I know it’s not easy loving someone like me I have a certain  type of tint to my soul which makes it more difficult for others to see inside  I lived most of my life as a madman, perfectionist, and/or tortured artist obsessed with the details of the things that I’m passionate about and this may explain why I obsess over you

◆ winter blue.

▪ winter blue. sometimes sadness is the only way out painful is the path that leads to something better

◆ girls like you II.

▪ girls like you II. the girls with the most scars have the greatest stories of strength

◆ March 22nd 2012.

▪ March 22nd 2012. screaming in silence crying within while wearing a smile the sun begins to set the sky barely lit caught between the fading light and darkness feels like a metaphor for my life or even yours anticipating something better as it would seem the impossible is what you’re waiting or I feel it too life is a noose with nothing new different day same emotions

◆ the free spirit.

▪ the free spirit. you could never cage her she ran wild in search of freedom in search of everything  she deserved she belonged to no man she belonged to herself

◆ untitled.

▪ untitled. your ex will always try to reappear once he sees you wearing the smile he often destroyed especially when that smile  is because of someone new

◆ more of less.

▪ more of less. metaphorically  we died  and everything we were was just a cold fucked-up memory  you became an afterthought and I was left to repair the scars you left upon my existence your love was a piece of shit and simply less than I deserved

◆ the right intent.

▪ the right intent. you can forgive without taking them back and just because you walk away doesn’t mean you no longer care sometimes love is one-sided sometimes what you give gets taken but never returned and those situations usually scar the human heart  for a lifetime  it’s okay to walk away from a promise of love that was broken it’s okay to turn your back on someone who pushes you away without concern of what you feel it’s not you you’re not the problem you had the right intentions but your love was just given to the wrong person

◆ still learning love.

 ▪ still learning love. don’t build your forevers on the foundation of temporary people

◆ I am restless.

 ▪ I am restless. your own memories betray you becoming silent threats of pain destroying that bridge that often leads to peace the more you remember the deeper you dig your own emotional grave

◆ journal entry.

▪ the unknown lurks in circles then hides in the darkest corners in every place that I inhabit

▪ most of the time we’re fighting scratching and clawing simply trying to survive

◆ self-replenishing.

▪ self-replenishing. don’t forget about your magic, sweetheart don’t forget about the many battles   you’ve survived the many obstacles you’ve broken through don’t forget about your ability  to see beyond your obstructed view right now the only one who can provide what you deserve  is you . . .

◆ angry.

▪ angry. people will upset you then label you with having  issues with anger

◆ brown liquor girl.

▪ brown liquor girl. she was Hennessy in a teacup  something wild but safe someone strong and beautiful

◆ all of the people.

▪ all of the people. I think we’re all just trying to survive the impact of falling for someone incapable of catching us I think we’re all  just trying to survive the death of a relationship filled with empty promises and bad intentions we’ve been faced with the task of making sense of a reality that was really a lie

◆ I am, you are.

▪ I am, you are. I am enough just not for you and that’s okay

◆ the contradictions.

▪ the contradictions. how can he be interested in you when he rarely makes an effort how is it that you call it love when you always feel as if he hates you

◆ ungrateful unworthy.

▪ ungrateful unworthy. stop fighting for appreciation leave the ungrateful

◆ best days.

▪ best days. the best days of your life are hidden behind  the worst moments you’ll eventually survive through

◆ most importantly.

▪ most importantly. quality over quantity place more importance on who deserves you instead of who simply wants you to be desired is nice but to be loved is beautiful

◆ a memory.

▪ a memory. guard your memories  they last forever

◆ a New York summer.

▪ an overwhelming silence surrounds me so heavy  weighing down on my soul I’m running out of patience frustration is the only thing I’ve been able to feel lately disappointment has become the new normal as I sit in anticipation of all the things that most likely won’t occur mostly the things which I desire the most there’s this aching in my heart as I sit here typing this as a reflection of what my emotions would look like if placed in front of a mirror I looked into a mirror this morning and barely recognized myself as the smile that I so often use as a mask has all but melted away I feel used, I feel overlooked I feel more and more like the worst version of myself and now I know why people change now I know why someone with the biggest heart would rather close themselves off from the world now I know what it feels like to give everything and be shortchanged by the person you’d do everything for

▪ the weather in my heart is changing I feel cold

◆ eulogy.

▪ eulogy. everything that I do every memory that I create is a detail in my eulogy a proclamation of where I was and who I became in morbid humor satire mostly we’re all just living to die writing the novel of our own lives a book best received during our funeral in a room filled with people who more than likely care about the story being told and so I continue to write until the final draft until my deadline

◆ leave and loss.

▪ leave and loss. leave and they’ll search for you  in everyone else and fail this is when they’ll understand what they lost

◆ some suggestions.

 ▪ some suggestions. read more books drink more water ignore more texts say no more often and put yourself first

◆ as the sun rises.

▪ as the sun rises. but haven’t you noticed you’re more like the sunrise not everyone will see value  in your presence not everyone will wake up  early enough to appreciate the sight of you and that’s okay your light is not for everyone

◆ January 17th.

▪ January 17th. she was a giver she had the biggest heart she was affectionate she was often taken for granted she was the one who felt as if she loved too hard she was the one picking up the pieces of her own heart in hopes of starting over after you left her broken

◆ January 18th.

▪ January 18th. way too often weak men waste the energy of a strong woman 

◆ new bridges.

▪ new bridges.

bridges will be burned but stronger ones will be built upon their ashes 

◆ sometimes, the brave.

▪ sometimes, the brave. sometimes the bravest thing to do is to finally give up on those who continue to quit on you

◆ ladylike.

▪ ladylike. she’s ladylike but likes to fuck and enjoying the act doesn’t make her a whore she likes what she  likes the specifics are for her to know loving sex doesn’t destroy a woman’s standards

◆ possibly.

▪ possibly. maybe she built that wall in front of her heart in order to save herself from the pain that she’s grown familiar with

◆ heightened flames.

▪ heightened flames. there’s fire within her don’t try and put it out just add to it . . .

◆ the right now.

▪ the right now. at some point in your life you’re going to have to start demanding what you deserve and be willing to walk away if what you require can’t be provided

◆ journey toward self.

▪ journey toward self. I later learned to appreciate the absence of those who failed to cherish my presence alone, through self-discovery I learned to love myself even the parts of my soul that were often overlooked and taken for granted

◆ 7:36 p.m.

▪ 7:36 p.m. cheating is not a skill it’s a handicap 

◆ incapable of loving.

▪ incapable of loving. you’ve been dating your self-esteem when you’re incapable of loving yourself you’ll place your heart in the hands of those who are incapable of loving you

◆ eye of the storm.

▪ eye of the storm. that’s the thing in order for the heart to conquer pain it has to first confront everything and everyone who attempted to destroy it and if your soul was strong enough to withstand the winds of betrayal  you’ll find peace and clarity as you look into the eye of the storm

◆ all for self.

▪ all for self. be good to yourself you’re the only you you’ll ever get

◆ these lives matter II.

▪ humanity is a lost art a lost practice an endangered idea

◆ girls like you III.

▪ girls like you deserve the type of love that makes you feel secure and safe within your emotions girls like you deserve a love that fills you to the point at which you overflow with joy girls like you deserve a love that reminds you of how rare your existence is

◆ midsummer retrospect.

▪ midsummer retrospect. not everyone you claim to be close to is an actual friend and this becomes  ore apparent as progression finds you those friends become leaves slowly falling to the ground as  you achieve success the more your life improves the less likely those friendships last

◆ the solitude.

▪ the solitude. there’s something beautiful about the solitude that settles in your heart after you’ve accepted the imperfect ending of something you thought would last master the task of being alone take advantage of those silent moments created by the realization that the person you care for is no longer deserving of your effort

◆ consilium V.

▪ consilium V. save your energy starve his ego stop entertaining someone who amplifies your pain

◆ great pain.

▪ great pain. the greatest pain produces  the strongest hearts

◆ the infinite.

▪ the infinite. she needed nothing from no one basking in her own independence comfortable within her strength she was the type of woman who made weak men uneasy she was the type of woman you couldn’t flatter with a simple compliment because she was more than what met the eye as her true value was always infinite

◆ a Sunday afternoon.

▪ a Sunday afternoon. a relationship without loyalty is like a body with no soul

◆ rose garden.

▪ but even though it hurts and even when it falls apart there she stands refusing to give in

a crown made of flowers a smile filled with strength

◆ he can’t love you.

▪ he can’t love you. you can’t force a man to see you for who you truly are when he’s blinded by his own immaturity you can’t force a man to provide the type of love he’s incapable of giving you’ll never have to force the type of love you require with a man who deserves to be a part of your life

◆ travel with or without.

▪ travel with or without. see the world with someone who is honest loyal and considerate in terms of your feelings see the entire world with someone who truly loves you and if you can’t find that see the world by your damn self

◆ the unfortunate truth.

 ▪ the unfortunate truth. what’s unfortunate is that we place more value on our feelings than our bodies when both are just as valuable  people would rather catch something that can’t be cured than catching feelings and as much as I’d like to laugh at this logic it’s honestly just sad

◆ building your own peace.

▪ building your own peace. in order to find peace you must begin to say no to anything or anyone who doesn’t deserve a yes and you must do this always without apology and with confidence

◆ consilium VI.

▪ consilium VI. refuse to be someone’s hobby you are not just something to do