Rest in the Mourning - R.h. Sin (Notes)

◆ tell me your truth.

▪ you seem stronger

you seem unbreakable

but even the strongest heart gets broken

even the strongest soul

feels weak

◆ many broken promises.

▪ many broken promises.

isn’t that why you choose to stay

aren’t you just holding on to ghosts

moments in time

that represent the best parts

of that particular relationship

those parts being the ones

which rarely occur

those moments like distant memories

of everything you wished

your relationship was

holding on to this rope of hope

that is breaking under the pressure

of your own expectations 

growing weaker by the fact

that you’re the only one who cares

as much as you do 

isn’t that why you choose to stay

it’s much harder to walk away

because you’re in love 

with the person they’ve promised

to become

◆ while searching I.

▪ in this life

you’ll get plenty of the things

you try your hardest to avoid

most of which

will hurt

plenty of which

will make you stronger

◆ while searching II.

▪ but i hope you find

what you deserve

i hope you discover

the type of love

that you’ve wasted

upon others

i hope you understand

that what you demand

is never too much

and if what you request

begins to feel like a burden

then you’re expecting

those things

from the wrong person

remember all of this

while searching . . .

◆ mouth of lies.

▪ don’t trust words

the only truth worth entertaining

lives within the actions of man

even the devil

appears kind behind

the right wording

◆ peace maintained.

▪ there is a certain amount

of value 

locked within every word

you speak

and you will find 

that most people

will never be able

to afford 

an argument with you

▪ practice silence

cultivate peace

raise your standards

and say nothing

to those

who hate 

below you

◆ silence and nothing.

▪ silence is what i’ll provide

because nothing

is what you now deserve

◆ the good.

▪ but the good people

are tired

they’ve grown weary

of fighting for relationships

that cause them pain

no matter how good

how kind

how patient . . .

everyone has a breaking point

◆ magnification.

▪ be with the man

who magnifies

your strengths

◆ rest in the mourning.

▪ there is a blanket of peace

that covers the soul

of the broken

there is a layer of strength

that falls upon

the heart that is aching

what is lost

will be replaced

with something profoundly beautiful

there is rest

in mourning

what no longer

deserves to be held by you

◆ preserve it all.

▪ be single

and save yourself

for a relationship

that motivates you

to become the best version

of yourself

be single until you find

a love that resembles

the type of love

you’ve been fighting for

◆ a hopeful ending.

▪ but when it ends

let it end

when it’s over

let it be

don’t think about what you lost

realize what you’ve gained

an opportunity to be loved

instead of taken for granted

another chance at a love

that isn’t filled with pain

▪ let go

let it out

then let it be

◆ over and done.

▪ the truth will always

reveal itself

when the relationship ends

and the love has dried up

the only loss.

somewhere along the way

i lost the essence of who i was

while trying to be

everything you wanted me to be

i think we do that sometimes

and maybe i’ve done that too much

losing myself for a love

that never existed

speak of the future.

one day

you’ll be the woman

he misses

one day

you’ll be the woman

he regrets losing

one day

you’ll be everything

you were trying to be

with him

with someone new

one day

you’ll become

someone’s wife

but until then

know your worth

know your strength

and protect your heart

she, the search.

she never needed to be saved

she only wanted to be loved

the correct way

she wasn’t looking for a hero

all she wanted was

someone she could trust

outside of herself

i am the love i deserve.

transform.

nurse your own wounds

then turn your pain

into power

turn your heartache

into wisdom

still willing, still ready.

we fight through the hardest parts

we survive these emotional wars

that leave our hearts bruised and broken

we do this until we either find real love

or we stop searching for it altogether

and even though this journey

has been filled with pain

and disappointment

i’m not ready

to give up

on what i deserve

before then after.

there was pain

in leaving

but joy

in realizing

that i no longer

needed you

this, the proce

this, the process.

in order to find your way

you have to get lost

in order to find love

you have to let go

of those who choose to hurt you

to gain

you have to lose

club cesspool.

the club was like a cesspool

of lost souls

trying to fill the void

in their lives

with people

who didn’t deserve to be

a part of their lives

want, need, and deserve.

want, need, and deserve.

what are you searching for

what is it that you need

do you know what you want

have you realized

what you deserve

i think the hardest part

is realizing

that the people we want

are sometimes

incapable of providing

what we deserve

and sometimes

what we really need

is to let go

in order to find something

worth holding on to

a rarity.

i’ve always been different

a rare breed of human

an odd occurrence to those

who have known me

some sort of blessing

to anyone

brave enough to love me

and the greatest loss

to those who didn’t

deserve to keep me

a sea of deception.

stop throwing yourself

in the water

for people

who will sit and watch

you struggle

and drown

the right.

hard lessons.

the hardest thing

you’ll ever learn

is how to let go

of the things

that used to be

worthy

of your energy

while waiting.

everything you deserve is coming

empty friendships.

all these friends

and yet i’m the loneliest

when in need of others

they’re only there for the party

they’re never around after

adjust.

things change

people change

you either evolve

or fail to adjust

the longer it takes

to realize this

the more it hurts

when those closest to you

become unfamiliar

looks.

we fall in love

with the looks of something

but not everything

is what it appears to be

i keep learning.

life taught me

what to keep

and what to let go of

in the midst of emotional chaos

there’s a lesson

my 20s.