Beard Science by Penny Reid (Notes)

◆ CHAPTER 1

▪ “So the unwanting soul

sees what's hidden,

and the ever-wanting soul

sees only what it wants.”

― Lao Tzu

▪ Cletus Winston was the sneakiest, most manipulative, most powerful, and—as far as I was concerned—the most dangerous man in East Tennessee. Problem was, virtually no else seemed to realize it. Everyone in town thought he was odd, but mostly harmless.

Meanwhile, he blackmailed them into doing what he wanted, all the while tricking people into thinking it was their idea.

▪ At first glance you might overlook him because, with Cletus, it was necessary to probe beyond the surface to see the potential underneath.

▪ “Best to keep an eye on the viper in a barn full of mice.”

▪ The main difference being Cletus kept clandestine control over his power, while Razor was brazen about most everything.

▪ one person should be allowed to be that pathologically intelligent and oppressively handsome.

◆ CHAPTER 2

▪ Consider the subtleness of the sea; how its most dreaded creatures glide under water, unapparent for the most part, and treacherously hidden beneath the loveliest tints of azure.”

― Herman Melville, Moby Dick

▪ First impressions were typically correct. My first impressions were always correct. This was because I employed a very scientific approach to forming impressions and was born with infallible logic.

I allot ten minutes. If I didn’t have ten minutes, I’d put off forming an impression until such a window of time was available. I never deviated from the ten-minute rule. I once put off forming an opinion about our new pastor for six months because I hadn’t found the ten minutes required.

▪ For the first five minutes, I didn’t look at him or her. I closed my eyes, or studied my feet, or glanced to one side. In this way I delayed forming an opinion based on outward appearance.

▪ It meant she considered relevancy before volunteering information. You can’t teach people how to do that.

▪ She was an auto mechanic. She was straightforward. She was smart. She was capable. She didn’t seem to have any feelings to hurt. She was clearly discerning about with whom she associated.

▪ Clearly my brother didn’t understand the concept of research: the value of gathering data, the necessity of testing theories, and the importance of post-coital analysis. Not everything could be discovered in a laboratory environment. Knowing something in theory is meaningless if you have no experience with real-life application.

◆ CHAPTER 3

▪ “If he be Mr. Hyde," he had thought, "I shall be Mr. Seek.”

― Robert Louis Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

▪ Cletus’s expression was blank, which—I abruptly realized—was highly unusual. He always wore an expression. Thoughtful, concerned, patient, bored, interested, somber, perturbed. How odd, for a person to always have an expression.

Unless that person wore emotions like a mask, meant to misdirect the true nature of his thoughts.

◆ CHAPTER 4

▪ The greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

― Roald Dahl

▪ How she lived her life—or allowed others to live it for her—was none of my affair. I’d hung up my cape; I’d sworn off rescuing lost causes. People didn’t want to be saved. All my meddling efforts were now focused on my family and their happiness, whether they liked it or not.

▪ And, besides, I don’t trust you to forgive and forget. You’ll take revenge sooner or later, it’s what you do. No . . . I’m going to see this through.”

▪ As a rule, I don’t believe in hidden depths, where hidden depths were defined as admirable but previously unnoticed qualities. I noticed everything.

▪ She laughed again, this time sounding a touch hysterical. “You know, you’ve always been really funny.”

“How would you know?” I gave her the side-eye. It was a serious question. “As far as I can recall, we’ve never spoken to each other directly before now.”

“Yes, but I listen.” Her response was muffled from behind her fingers. “No one talks to me, so I listen.”

◆ CHAPTER 5

▪ I slip back many times, I fall, I stand still, I run against the edge of hidden obstacles, I lose my temper and find it again and keep it better . . .”

― Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

 

▪ You’ll know one day, Cletus. You’ll discover what it’s like to find the other part of yourself. You’ll know it’s her, only her, always her. Maybe not right away, but eventually you’ll know. She’ll be your beginning, middle, and end. And your intentions won’t matter. Love brings its own intentions, and all other plans, hopes, and dreams fade to insignificance in the face of love.”

▪ How does one grow a backbone?

▪ Here’s the honest truth, Cletus: I’m not a romantic. I’m not looking for someone to sweep me off my feet. Knights in shining armor do not exist. I don’t even need him to be particularly clever or handsome. I just want a good person, a . . . a gentle person. I want someone with a good heart, someone steady, reliable, and kind. Someone who would make a good father.”

◆ CHAPTER 6

▪ As I was saying, women move between the three categories all the time. Attiring yourself thus,” he waved his hand over my dress, “may encourage folks to think of you as crazy, and if a woman is crazy, then she might move from bandicooting to the forget category.”

▪ A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life.”

—Hermann Hesse, Bäume. Betrachtungen und Gedichte

▪ everything I knew about Cletus as a covert conniver, I figured he didn't much appreciate being at a disadvantage. This was a man who preferred to be in complete control.

▪ You think I look like I'm in a costume?"

"Aren't you?"

He was right . . . of course. It was a costume. But I had a hard time admitting the truth out loud.

"The makeup, the hair, those fuzzy caterpillars on your eyelids. You dress like a stage performer all the time. Is this something you enjoy?"

"No," I answered immediately. "No. It's not. But I don't see what this has to do with—"

"With finding you a husband who is going to give you babies?"

"Well, yes. What does how I dress—"

"Everything. Because who you represent yourself to be on the outside, what people see, forms their first impression of you. For marriageable men who like women, this means you'll immediately fall into one of three categories: marriage potential, one-time amorous congress, or forgettable."

I grimaced. "So, you're saying I'm forgettable." Of course he would. He’d never noticed me.

He chuckled, and I couldn’t help but enjoy the way it brightened and softened his eyes. "No, Jenn. You're not forgettable. But being a caricature doesn't make you very accessible either. A woman usually needs to be accessible in order to fall into the marriage category."

▪ Most men—especially young men—are simple creatures. But the good news is, men can and do change their minds.”

◆ CHAPTER 7

▪ Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.”

― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

▪ But very pretty wasn’t going to help much or take her very far without a backbone.

▪ No wonder she was so good at baking. Baking is a precise science and was—as she said—fundamentally the application of chemistry.

▪ Taking control of her appearance, well, that was the first step toward taking control of her life.

▪ Two weeks would give Jennifer plenty of time to marinate on my question and make a decision. Who was she living her life for? Herself or her mother?

▪ Contrary to popular belief, installing traps is perfectly legal. It’s legal just as long as the engineer responsible informs local law enforcement about the installation. I’d informed local law enforcement. And then I’d made certain the certified letter never saw the light of day. It was buried in their evidence storage, misfiled. But I knew where it was and would make certain the letter became found on Sheriff James’s desk when the time was right.

◆ CHAPTER 8

▪ Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living.”

― Søren Kierkegaard

 

◆ CHAPTER 9

▪ change one thing every day for the next month.”

▪ Don't laugh at the spinsters, dear girls, for often very tender, tragic romances are hidden away in the hearts that beat so quietly under the sober gowns.”

― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

▪ No, ma’am. You have to decide. It can be anything, anything at all. Change the route you take to work, change the lipstick you wear, or go crazy and change your hair color. The only rule is, it has to be something you want to change. You have to want it, not your momma, not your daddy, not your dog, you.”

◆ CHAPTER 10

▪ “I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life.”

― Virginia Woolf, Moments of Being

▪ Jennifer, tu ne croiras jamais ce qui est arrivé ! (Translation: Jennifer, you’ll never believe what happened!)

▪ Toutes les femmes ont besoin de lingerie sexy, ça leur donne un secret, she’d written, Une femme avec un secret est mystérieuse et séduisante

(Translation: All women need sexy underwear; it gives them a secret. A woman with a secret is by nature mysterious and alluring.)

◆ CHAPTER 11

▪ The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed; The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed.”

― Charlotte Brontë

▪ mechanical aptitude and engineering genes

▪ Being quiet can be louder than shouting.’”

▪ Old things have soul.’ Then to me she’d add on a whisper, ‘And young things have spirit.’”

▪ When you’re on a date with a man, it’s probably best not to bring up a different man.”

◆ CHAPTER 12

▪ When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”

― George Bernard Shaw, Back to Methuselah

 

◆ CHAPTER 13

▪ My soul is a hidden orchestra; I know not what instruments, what fiddlestrings and harps, drums and tamboura I sound and clash inside myself. All I hear is the symphony.”

― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

▪ “If your partner and you have great chemistry, technique matters less.”

▪ “You make it sound like I can just check the classifieds for a kissing instructor. How do normal people do this? How do normal people learn how to kiss without frightening off good kissers?”

“Most people figure it out in high school. No one knows how to kiss in high school, so it’s all different variations of too wet and unpleasant. It’s a lot of trial and error, bad kisses, figuring out what works and what doesn’t.”

▪ In this case, in matters of interpersonal relationships, I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to be inexperienced, just like it’s not bad to be experienced.”

▪ If you don’t mind another analogy, finding a mate is like playing an instrument. I might play the banjo for years, but then give it up to play the bassoon. Well, I don’t know how to play the bassoon, so it’s like starting all over again. Each instrument is like starting all over. No one has all the answers, no matter how much experience they have in their past.”

◆ CHAPTER 14

▪ Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

― Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power

▪ She reminded me so much of a regal bird of prey, and I couldn’t help but compare her to a hawk or a falcon: proud, beautiful, clearly intelligent, and yet distant and removed somehow.

Untouchable.

◆ CHAPTER 15

▪ But we insist, every morning, on showing only the rose that blooms, and keep the thorny stem that hurts us and makes us bleed hidden within.”

― Paulo Coelho, Adultery

▪ Kids are the best. Kids are free of prejudice, and they want to have fun all the time. They want to play all the time. And they’re like sponges with knowledge. Eager to learn. How many adults do you know who are eager to learn?”

▪ What do you want to be?”

“A mother,” I said simply, because it was true. That’s what I wanted first and foremost. “And a really excellent wife and partner. And homemaker. I want to have a family to take care of, to love and fuss over and think about. That’s what I want. I know it’s not progressive, or flashy, and I know people don’t place much importance on that stuff anymore, just like people don’t put much importance on humility and kindness, forgiveness and compassion. But those things are important to me. I know people will look down their noses at me for being just a mom, but I’m used to being marginalized for what I do and what I look like. And I think being a great mother is the most difficult and most important job in the world. So people can just take their judgmental crap and—”

▪ Look, all I’m saying is that if a person is great at something, she shouldn’t have to pretend she's not, and she shouldn’t have to downplay her hard work. There's nothing wrong with humility or modesty, Jenn. But—for heaven's sake—take credit for being a badass.”

◆ CHAPTER 16

▪ Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?”

― Benjamin Franklin

▪ Desperation is a great motivator.

▪ Even on stage, Cletus seemed determined to hide from the spotlight, to conceal his amazing. This comprehension left me agitated. He was remarkable, and yet he was determined people think of him as mediocre.

▪ “Love is a . . . well, it’s interesting. It can be wonderful, but it can also be destructive. I understand your loyalty to your parents, I do. But you’re right. You’re in a cage, and you’re looking for a way out. Don’t rush it. You have time. I was actually the opposite. When I was nineteen I was a bird, looking for a cage. Believe it or not, your situation is better.”

▪ Having experience, good technique, good moves—those are all just fine. If you’re having sex for recreation or playing it like a professional sport, then those things are critical. But if you’re making love, then experience and good moves are a bonus, but not at all important. It’s the person, not the technique, that makes it worthwhile.”

▪ “So don’t worry about your lack of experience. You wait—if you want—because when the right guy comes along, he won’t mind about your technique or lack thereof, and you won’t mind about his. He’ll care about you. You’ll care for each other.”

▪ When you’re certain, when it’s the heart and mind you’re after, then you lay it all out. But if it’s empty, just physical, then there’s nothing to say.”

◆ CHAPTER 17

▪ “Men do change, and change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, and it comes like the stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.”

― John Steinbeck

▪ The woman definitely had an effect on me. Her voodoo had me doing and saying things without premeditated forethought. We had conversations. We spoke of events and our lives. I was sharing things about myself without conducting a mental chess game or deliberating how to best leverage information she communicated for my benefit.

▪ I wanted to be with her, spend time in her company for the sake of her company—a sentiment that was both novel and entirely unwelcome.

▪ She’s different already. How she’s dressing, wearing her hair, speaking up for herself. And that’s wonderful, it’s great to see. She’s taking control of her life with baby steps.”

▪ It was time for Jennifer to broaden her horizons. It was time for her to be pushed out of her comfort zone. This was a big step.

◆ CHAPTER 18

▪ Love at the lips was touch

As sweet as I could bear;

And once that seemed too much;

I lived on air”

― Robert Frost

▪ The sensation was similar to the seconds before a head-on collision, when you can see the other car coming, but you can’t do anything to stop what happens next.

◆ CHAPTER 19

▪ “I love you as the plant that never blooms, but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers.”

― Pablo Neruda

▪ Then you reevaluate your priorities, including your fears. You be better and braver. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

◆ CHAPTER 20

▪ “. . .[N]o varnish can hide the grain of the wood; and that the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself.”

― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

▪ I wanted to honor my parents. I loved them. I didn’t want to disappoint them. But how was I supposed to breathe when I wasn’t even allowed to think?

▪ realized I was tired of feeling helpless. I wasn’t going to be helpless. Not anymore. I was taking control. I was going to figure things out, for myself, by myself. If I’d learned anything in the last few months, it was that I couldn’t live my life to make other people happy. So I was going to start there.

I needed to be true to myself.

◆ CHAPTER 21

▪ “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.”

― Zora Neale Hurston

▪ If it’s an empty, physical attraction, then there was no point in persuing a relationship with the person.

▪ Instinct and experience had me preparing my heart for rejection.

▪ You want to know what you are to me? Fine. You’re my beginning, middle, and end.”

◆ CHAPTER 22

▪ Perhaps there is a soul hidden in everything and it can always speak, without even making a sound, to another soul.”

― Frances Hodgson Burnett, A Little Princess

▪ Love negated experience. Completely and utterly. Love negated so many things.

◆ CHAPTER 23

▪ Morality, it could be argued, represents the way that people would like the world to work, whereas economics represents how it actually does work.”

― Steven D. Levitt, Freakonomics

◆ CHAPTER 24

▪ Civilized people must, I believe, satisfy the following criteria. . . Their hearts suffer the pain of what is hidden to the naked eye.”

― Anton Chekhov, A Life in Letters

▪ My pen pals had told me—in French, Japanese, and German—what having sex was like. They’d described what it felt like to have an orgasm, so I knew what we’d done on Friday had resulted in an orgasm for both of us. But nothing they’d described revealed the true intimacy of the act. How it was something beautiful and terrifying, to be naked and vulnerable, to be touched.

▪ Maybe your vengeful impulses stem from your dislike of bullies. Speaking from firsthand experience, bullies can make you feel like you don’t have any control. And, if that’s the case, you are exceedingly understandable.”

▪ You take your time. Anything you want to share, I want to hear. But something you taught me over these last few months is that no one can control who you are—fundamentally, who you are in your heart—except for you. The decision is always yours.”

▪ “Three things cannot hide for long: the Moon, the Sun and the Truth.”

― Gautama Buddha

 ▪ I want true privacy, a place where we can talk and be.”

▪ And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on.”

― Byron

▪ Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy.”

― Jalaluddin Rumi

▪ Just because someone is an idiot doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. And just because someone is smart doesn’t mean they’re good.”

▪ “If ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is a cage.”

“But knowledge is only a cage if you dwell in isolation.”

▪ Everything is temporary, Cletus. This,” he gestured to our surroundings, “this is temporary. Even mountains fall. Nothing lasts forever. You got a chance at happiness, even for a week, a month, a year? You grab it and hold on to it for as long as it lasts. I want you to seize.”

“You want me to seize?” I asked flatly, lifting my eyebrow at his little performance.

“That’s right. You seize that woman, Cletus. You make her yours. And then after,” still grinning, Duane dropped his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little shake, “you give that woman your sausage.”

◆ CHAPTER 28

▪ Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”

― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

▪ How do you prove to someone that you’re strong?”

“Through your actions,”

▪ Stay away from the normals, the small-minded people who fill their brains with small-minded pursuits, who blend in and keep up with the Joneses. Those people will tear you down and make you boring. Instead, surround yourself with the weirds. With the misfits, oddballs, and outcasts. Because the normals, bless their hearts, have no idea how to have fun.”

▪ My mother was single-minded, shrewd and focused, and exceptionally smart. And so was Cletus. The main differences were, my mother didn’t try to hide her intelligence and she cared what other people thought.

Cletus didn’t care at all what other people thought, not unless the person was his family.

◆ CHAPTER 29

▪ Love brings to light a lover's noble and hidden qualities-his rare and exceptional traits: it is thus liable to be deceptive of his normal qualities.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

◆ CHAPTER 30

▪ Moral wounds have this peculiarity - they may be hidden, but they never close; always painful, always ready to bleed when touched, they remain fresh and open in the heart.”

― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

▪ And there it was: loyalty.

I studied the big man, surprised and impressed by his reasonableness. We might never be friends or even friendly acquaintances, but I could understand the desire to belong to something bigger, to have brothers, people who were loyal and had your back.

Suddenly, the decision my family had made, when I’d put the Iron Wraith’s fate to a vote, felt like the right one. These guys were criminals. They weren’t all evil, but they did bad things.

If they threatened me or my people, then we’d have the means to defend ourselves. If they didn’t, then the choices they made would determine the road they were on, as well as the pitfalls along the way.

▪ Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.” ― André Malraux

▪ She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes...”

― Byron